Why Do Friendships Drift Apart?

Why do friendships drift apart?

If you are part of the main demographic of this blog, then you’ve probably already have experienced this. More likely than not, you’ve had some friends who seem like they have drifted apart. Or maybe it’s the opposite; you have slowly pushed away some friends that were once close to you. As we get older, we find it hard to make time to see our friends.

But other than time constraints, why is it that we drift apart from certain friends? Is it normal for this to happen? And is there anything we could or should do to prevent this. That is what I wanted to talk about today!

In this post, I’ll go over why do friendships drift apart and everything you need to know about it. Whether it’s your friends drifting away from you or it’s you wanting to go further apart, I’ll let you know why it happens and all the options you have regarding your friendships.

Without further ado, let’s get started.

Your friends and situation has changed.

This is the first and probably biggest reason why friendships drift apart; the life situations of your friends have changed. Now when I say changed, it can be so many things. It can be logistical changes such as your friends moving away, your friends starting a family or they are no longer in school or working at the same place you are.

All of these things can easily change a friendship. For example, if you’re used to hanging out with your friends every week, that is going to be hard to do when one of the moves away from the neighborhood. Or if a friend starts a family with their spouse, they’re going to find it really difficult to find time with you.

As I’ve mentioned in past, life is always changing and our friendships can change over time. Logistical changes in life are one big reason.

You have changed and want something different.

Another aspect of friendships drifting apart is that you yourself have changed. Either you want something different or you are no longer compatible with your friends.

As someone probably in your 30s, you’ve likely experienced a lot of different changes in your life. You want to be better and you have certain goals you want to obtain. But if you have friends who don’t feel the same way as you do, you are bound to naturally drift away from them. For example, if your friends want to drink and party like you guys did in your 20s but you don’t want to anymore, it’s going to be hard to share the same experiences together. If you want to move onto a new phase of your life but your friends don’t want to, then of course you both will drift apart.

You simply don’t get along with them as much.

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, the friend you knew 5-10 years ago may not be the same person you see today. You may have found yourself getting along with them in the past. But now things have changed and you both have changed, and being friends with them may not come as natural as it did back then.

This is especially true if you’ve recently made new friends who align better with the “new you.” And vice versa if your friends found new people to hangout with.

This happened to me once. I was friends with someone who I used to play a lot of video games with. But over time, this friend of mine changed a lot. They started to get into drugs and a lot of bad stuff. Our friendship suffered as a result of this, and we stopped being friends, especially when this person saw me as not cool for doing the same stuff they did.

Is it normal for friendships to drift apart?

Now that you know why friendships can drift apart, you may be wondering if it’s normal for these things to happen. I would definitely say yes.

As you can see from the previous points, life is always changing. And with that, friendships are always evolving along with it. Some friendships grow stronger. But other friendships can drift apart for so many reasons. So if you find yourself losing your connections with some of your friends, then don’t feel bad. It can happen so easily, especially in your 30s when you’re probably starting your career and settling down.

But what if you want to keep your friends from drifting apart? Let’s talk about that…

How to keep friends from drifting apart

While there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to keep your friends from drifting apart, you can do things to keep a strong connection with your friends. Just because your circumstances and beliefs have changed, it doesn’t mean you have to completely remove your friends from your life.

The best thing you can do is keep in touch with them. Whether through social media or other online means, staying in contact is an important way to keep the friendship going. Of course, the best way to keep your friendship strong is by meeting in-person. It’s easy to forget about your friends when all of you are busy with your lives. But putting in the effort to meet and spend time with friends is what will count.

I was told a story by my family. They told me about my former Aunt who would always host a get-together with all my relatives at least once a year. My Aunt would push really hard to make sure everyone attends this get-together. One of my cousins said it was sometimes a hassle to make time for it, but he is really appreciative for what my Aunt did. It brought all my relatives closer together and strengthen the bond between all of them.

This is a great example showing how you can bring some friends together. You’re all busy with your lives, but if you can make time once in a while to hangout and socialize, it can make a huge difference in keeping the friendship going, and not drifting apart.

Conclusion

I hope you found this post useful. Again, friendships drifting apart is not uncommon. And depending on your friends and your current situation, you may choose to let them drift or try to keep your friendships strong.

If you have any questions or feedback, leave them in the comments below.