Why Do Friends Ghost You?

Why do friends ghost you?

If you ever had someone ghost you, then you know how terrible it feels. To me, it’s one of the worst things a friend can do to you.

To start, if you don’t know what “ghosting” is, it’s when someone suddenly stops talking to you and seeing you without any warning or reasons given. Sort of like what a ghost does; disappear and leave! Ghosting can happen in many areas of our life. From companies not calling us back after we do a job interview, to that potential partner we talked to using an online dating site that never replied back when things got close. I would say ghosting in those situations is pretty normal and nothing to be concerned about.

But if you got ghosted by your own friends, then that is not ordinary. Usually friends don’t abandon you out of nowhere. And if you’re wondering why your friend ghosted you, that is what we will talk about today.

In this post, I’ll go over the potential reasons why do friends ghost you and what you should do about it. Whether it was a one-off occurrence or something that’s happened to you more than once, you’ll know why it’s been happening to you. Being ghosted is never pleasant but you can move on from it.

Without further ado, let’s get started.

It was something you said or did.

The first and foremost reason why a friend ghosted you is probably because you said something or did something they didn’t like. After all, a good friend wouldn’t leave you if you did nothing wrong. Maybe it was something political you said that was controversial. Or you revealed some of your beliefs to that friend that they secretly didn’t like. Or you chose to hangout with other friends instead of them once.

While you may never know for sure since they ghosted you and you’re unable to contact them, you can always reflect on what happened during your time with their friendship. You could have done or said so many things that may have upset them without you knowing. But just know that it’s not your fault. After all, you can’t please everyone (nor can you or should you). And how can you redeem yourself if your friend ghosted you without any warning?

They have changed.

Another reason why a friend may have ghosted you is because they themselves have changed (for better or worse). As you may know, life is never static and things always change, including yourself and your friends. And in particular, if your friend starts changing, they may feel like they have no need or desire to hangout or communicate with you.

I’ve actually seen this happen to a couple of mutual people I knew. One of them had changed their personality drastically over a short period of time. It seemed like they were not compatible with each other. And then one day, that friend decided to ditch my friend when they were supposed to hangout and they never talked to each other again. It was a terrible thing that they did and left them feeling really bad afterwards. They were wondering why they got ghosted and if it was normal (more on that later).

There is a saying that friends come and go. And some friends may be inclined to ditch or ghost you if they themselves change.

It’s an easy out for them.

Whatever the reason may be for a friend to stop communicating with you, ghosting is an easy way out when you think about it. Rather than having to confront you to end a friendship, or to show why they’re upset at you, it’s actually easier to just ghost and not have to do any of that.

This is especially true if your friend is not an assertive person and they like to avoid confrontation. And in today’s world where we communicate so much using social media, it can so easy to cut someone out of your life using the Internet. All it takes is the block button or just simply not replying back to a friend to easily ghost them.

It’s MUCH harder to actually tell someone that you didn’t like what they said or that you no longer want to associate with them. Hence why ghosting is a thing that a friend may opt to do instead.

Ghosting is NOT normal and/or healthy.

The thing with ghosting is that the action of disappearing without any notice AND not giving your friend a chance to redeem themselves, it’s completely passive-aggressive. Whether you did something wrong or not, when a friend ghosts you without any explanation, nothing can be resolved. And whoever ghosted you did not take into consideration the emotional toll it can have on you. Being abandoned by a friend without any reason can wreak havoc on your mental health.

In a normal and healthy friendship, if there were any issues that you or your friend has with each other, it would be communicated and dealt with. But ghosting doesn’t allow any of that.

What to do if you’ve been ghosted by a friend

There are a few things you can do if you’ve been ghosted by a friend. To start, you can try to figure out why they did. If your ghosting friend has mutual friends that you both talk to, you can ask your mutual friend what happened. Perhaps your ghosting friend may not have the courage to tell you, but they would tell to your other friend instead. That way, you can figure out what happened and take action from there.

If there is absolutely no way to contact them after they ghosted you, then there’s not much you can do. Again, it may have been out of your control so there’s no point in dwelling on the past. You just have to move on from there.

I would only pay attention if you’ve been ghosted multiple times by different friends. While it’s debatable that ghosting is becoming more common due to society today, there may be things that are causing people to leave you. Maybe you’re doing a lot of negative and off-putting things that push people away from you? Or you’re hanging around the wrong crowd? Again, ghosting is NOT normal to do and if it’s happening to you frequently, then it would be good to self-reflect and see any potential reasons. For example, if you are not being a good friend in general, you can learn how to be a good friend (click here to read my article about having a good friendship).

Conclusion

I hope you found this post informative. Being ghosted by a friend is a very unpleasant experience, regardless of the reason. But by acknowledging why it happens and how to respond to it, you can move on from it.

If you have any questions or feedback, leave them in the comments below!