When It’s Time To End A Friendship

When it’s time to end a friendship…

More often than not, we stay with people who don’t treat us well. Whether it’s desperation or the fact that we don’t know any better, we forget that there can be bad friendships.

Sometimes you will know right away if someone is going to make a bad friend. But other times, people can change and the way they treated you in the beginning is a lot different from how it is now. So it can be difficult to pinpoint when a friendship is over.

But that’s what I’m here to do today, to give you an insight with friendships and knowing when to continue or end it.

In this post, I’ll give you 5 ways to know when it’s time to end a friendship. Whether you know it or not, having good people around you is important and when someone is treating you bad, it’s time to step up.

Without further ado let’s get started.

1. You always get bad vibes with them.

If you ever hangout with a friend and if you always end up feeling “bad” afterwards, then it’s a potential sign that you are in a bad friendship. This is more of an intuition and one that is not so obvious right away. But in my experience, my bad friendships were the ones where I was always feeling like crap after the interactions were over.

Whether you are feeling sad, drained or upset, these negative emotions are not something to be ignored. And you might be thinking, “Well James, what if my friends are giving me harsh advice that’s helpful? I don’t want to hang around friends who don’t challenge me!”

Well the difference is that if you have a friend who is giving you good advice (even if it hurts), then you’ll feel good about them afterwards. I remember working with a mentor who would give me some harsh advice that hurt initially, but I always felt great afterwards because not only was it helpful, but my intuition knew that the advice was helpful, giving me positive vibes.

But with a friend who isn’t genuinely trying to help you, you’ll be feeling negative emotions instead. There is a difference between trying to help you and trying to hurt you. Bad friends do the latter.

2. You are just being used.

I always emphasize the need to be giving in a friendship. If you’re the one who’s always taking from a friendship (e.g. emotionally or financially), then your friends will notice and not want to hangout with you. However…

If your friends are doing the exact same thing to you, then you have every right to end your friendships with them! Because you don’t deserve to be used by anyone, let alone your friends.

It can be hard to tell when your friends truly enjoy your company and friendship, versus only wanting to use you when it’s convenient. But here are some examples I’ve seen:

• Needing a car ride to/from a place, and asking to “hangout” with you coincidentally
• If you have connections with VIP access, your friends want to get you to get them that access
• If you have a lot of money, they want you to pay for everything
• You’re a great listener, but they don’t listen to you.

Which brings me to my next point…

3. When your friends don’t listen to you.

Part of what makes a great friendship is listening to each other. I got your back and you got mine, so to say. And I always say that being a good listener will easily make you a lot of friends.

But if you’re the one who is doing all the listening and no one is listening to you, then there is a problem. If your friends are not listening to what you have to say, then that’s not a real friendship. Whether it’s ignoring you in a group conversation, or not listening to your serious issues, having a friend who doesn’t care is hurtful.

So if you find that your friendship is one-sided where you’re only listening and they’re doing all the talking, then it may be time to end the friendship.

4. You are always arguing with each other.

Another sign that you may need to end a friendship is if your friend is always challenging your authority. For example, if you’re trying to plan a night out and they don’t want to agree with what you’re doing or making you feel like you’re incompetent, then I would question if they’re being a good friend to you.

Now to be fair, a good friend won’t always say “yes” to you about everything. They should be telling you or questioning you if they feel it’s wrong or not; honesty is the best policy. But if they’re always trying to start an argument with you over trivial things, then I would question if they’re your friend or not. Friends usually agree or compromise on things; after all, commonality is what brings you guys together. Hanging around who is always difficult should raise red flags for you. If your friend is trying to challenge you all the time, then you should stop inviting them to events or don’t engage with them.

5. When they constantly do not respect your boundaries.

Last but not least; if you have friends who are always breaking your boundaries, then you are probably hanging with the wrong people. Of course, you don’t want friends who are complete pushovers and do everything you say. But at the same time, you shouldn’t have to always be challenged and tested by those same group of friends.

Here are some examples of potential boundaries that bad friends may break:

• Not respecting your privacy, giving out your secrets to others
• Not respecting your time, always being late or not showing up to hangout with you (especially at the last moment)
• Having disagreements and making fun of you/insulting you for having a different opinion

These things can make it really difficult to maintain a friendship and your boundaries need to be respected.

With that said, I wanted to make it clear that you shouldn’t end a friendship abruptly because of boundaries being initially broken. Sometimes a friend doesn’t know a boundary is being pushed and you need to let them know first so they have a chance to correct themselves. Often when I stand my ground, people will apologize and respect your boundaries when it’s known, that’s what a good friend would do. Hence why I put “constantly” in the bullet point here; if a friend is always not respecting your boundaries, THEN it may be time to end the friendship.

Summary

To summarize here are the 5 ways to know when it’s time to end a friendship:

1. You always get bad vibes with them.
2. You are just being used.
3. When your friends don’t listen to you.
4. You are always arguing with each other.
5. When they constantly do not respect your boundaries.

And there you have it; 5 ways to know when it’s time to end a friendship. I hope you found this post useful and helpful!

If you have any questions or feedback, leave them in the comments below!