Knowing When To Let Go Of Friends (In Your 30s)
Knowing when to let go of friends.
It can be one of the hardest things you need to do. If you feel that a friendship between you and someone is either stagnating or not going so smoothly, then it may be time to let them go. As difficult as it is, some friendships are not meant to be. This is especially true in your 30s and as you get older; you just don’t have as much time to deal with that kind of nonsense. When you probably have a career and possibly family to take care of, having a bad friendship is not something you want to manage.
Fortunately though, it is likely easier for you to let go of your friends in your 30s than in the past. I’m sure in your younger years, losing a friend would have felt emotionally devastating, especially if you had to go to the same school or workplace as them. But with time, you have gotten stronger and know that losing friends is not fun, but also part of life.
So how do you know when to let friends go? What are the usual signs? That’s what I’ll be discussing today.
In this post, I’ll go over the things on knowing when to let go of friends (in your 30s). Not every friendship is meant to last, especially when you are in your 30s when you have a lot on your plate. We will see what to look out for.
Alright, let’s get started.
When values change and you’re no longer compatible.
You are in your 30s now and chances are, there are many changes happening in your life. Whether it’s starting a new career, or the environment around you is changing, these things can have a profound effect on you. The person you were 10-20 years ago is probably not the same person you are today.
Think about that, and apply that to your friends as well. Your friends are probably not the same person when you met them in school or at work back then. People change, values changes and beliefs can change as well. When this happens, it can cause a strain in the friendship. Maybe you and your friend believed in the same political causes back then, but now that you have the opposite views, your friend doesn’t like that. Or maybe one of you believed in being kind to someone, while the other may take that as weakness. Or you both used to be carefree, but now you want to take life more seriously and your friend hates that you are.
Things like that can really interfere with a friendship. But it’s not your fault. People can change and so can you. And if you’re no longer compatible with a friend, then it may be time to let go of them as a friend.
When you or your friends or in different stages of life.
Your 30s is an interesting period, because you are still relatively young (in my opinion) but now you’re about to enter your midlife era. This is when your career is starting to get established and you may possibly end up starting a family as well.
Because of this transition period, you may find that you and your friends cannot relate to each other anymore (click here to learn how to relate to others better). If you want to settle down, have a full-time career and start having kids meanwhile your friends still want to drink and party, then the contrast is obvious. Maybe you and your friends used to be edgy all the time, but you want to change to a different type of personality and your friends resent that. Or maybe your friends are so busy with their careers and family that they don’t have time to hangout with their friends, including you.
Being in different stages of life can really affect friendships. It’s easier to stay friends who are in similar situations. I think it’s pretty common for people who have families to forget about their friends, because family will always take priority. It can be hard to maintain friendships in your 30s when you and your friends are in different stages of your lives.
Your boundaries and respect are most important.
Last but not least, the best way to know if you should let a friend go is if they respect your boundaries, or respect you in general. With the previous two points that I made, those can be obvious signs that a friendship is drifting apart. However, as long as they still respect you as a friend and never cross your boundaries, then it’s fine to keep the friendship going and sticking it out, even if the friendship isn’t as strong as it used to be.
That’s all different if your friend is pushing your boundaries all the time, though. If you’re finding that your friend is no longer the cool person you can trust and rely on, but rather the person that’s always arguing with you and questioning what you do, then that’s where you need to draw the line. It’s one thing to have changing views and beliefs, as well as being in different stages of life. But it’s another if your friend becomes resentful of you because of it. If they are treating you like an enemy instead of a friend, then it’s time to let go of them as a friend. Do give them a chance and let them know that your boundaries are to be respected. If your friend continually breaks your boundaries, then it’s time to let them go.
Conclusion
Anyways, I hope you found this post informative and helpful. Letting a friend go is never easy, especially if you’ve known them for a long time. But as someone in your 30s, you are allowed to have higher standards and you don’t need a strained friendship dragging you down.
If you have any questions or feedback, leave a comment below!
