7 Things I Would Do If I Had No Friends

Do you feel like you have no friends?

If that’s the case, then you should read this article to help you out.

In this crazy world, it can be hard to make new friends. With technology and smartphones being so prominent in our everyday lives, the need to interact with people in-person seems to be less important than it was back then. Even I noticed that talking to people in real life has become common for me. Whether if you’re struggling to make new friends or you want to find new opportunities to meet, I’m here to help!

In this post, I’ll give you 7 things I would do immediately if I had no friends. These strategies will quickly help you make new and genuine friends while being honest to yourself and others. No matter who you are or your personality, anyone can implement these strategies.

Without further ado, let’s get started.

1. Figure out the potential logistical reasons you’re not making new friends.

Believe it or not, there may be a variety of reasons why you have no friends at the moment. The biggest thing I would look first is if you’re giving yourself opportunities to meet people. Unless you’re in college/university, friends won’t come to you. Yes, you have to make the effort to go out and make new friends.

If all you’re doing is eat, sleep, work and repeat, then it’s going to be impossible to have new friends if the opportunities aren’t there for you. We’ll go more into detail on how to provide more opportunities to meet new friends later in this post. But for now, just know that you need to put yourself out there if you have no friends.

There could be a lot of other logistical reasons that are limiting your ability to meet new people, including:

• Living in a rural area
• Not having time to go out and socialize
• Only hanging out with your current group of friends/family members

If any of these things are applicable to you, then it could definitely affect your ability to meet new friends. I’m not saying you got to move to the city or abandon your current friends or family! But you can do small things such as visit the biggest city near you or try spending some time with people who aren’t in your current social circle.

2. Your social skills are important.

You don’t need to be a people person in order to make new friends. But it’s certainly a lot more difficult if you’re doing things that are off-putting to others. If people don’t enjoy hanging out with you, then they probably don’t want to be your friend!

This could be its own blog post and I might do it at some point. But here are some examples of things that could be repulsive:

• Talking over others and not being a good listener
• Being inconsiderate of others
• Taking more than giving
• Talking about yourself too much
• In conversations, talking bad about others behind their back
• Closed body language

But don’t feel bad if you do any of these things. I myself had a lot of these unattractive traits and put off a ton of potential friends. It took me a long time unlearn these habits but it was worth it in the end; I found that I was able make new friends a lot easier.

3. What do I have to offer?

I think a lot of us get it wrong when we try to pursue new friends. Instead of thinking of how you can benefit from your friends, you must frame a friendship as a give-and-take relationship. Everyone has a different opinion on this. To me, it’s important to be a giver in a friendship and always provide value. But I also think you need to strike a balance between giving to others without being taken advice. Giving too much can open you up to being used by others.

In terms of making new friends, if you have good habits in giving and providing value, you’ll find it easier to meet people; they will naturally be attracted to you!

Here are some easy ways you can provide value in a friendship:

• Being a good listener and actually listening to what others have to say. Listen more than talking.
• Participating in group events (e.g. pitching in for food/drinks, helping out with activities)
• Bring a fun and positive person to hangout with
• By being a natural giver, you’ll find it a lot easier to make new friends.

Now that we’ve talked about behavioural ways to meet new people, let’s talk more about improving your logistics to meet others.

4. What are my interests and hobbies?

The first and easiest way to naturally make new friends; write down what your interests and hobbies are. Why? Because I want you to go to meet new people who are into the same things as you are. Trust me; it’s a LOT easier to connect and build rapport with people who have similar interests as you.

Let’s say you’re into outdoors but you go to an event for computer enthusiasts. It’s going to be difficult to find commonality between you and the computer enthusiasts. I’m not saying it’s impossible. But we’re here to make friends easier, so why make it an uphill battle? So let’s start with your genuine interests and hobbies, and work from there.

Take me for example. Here are a few of my hobbies:

• Video games
• Traveling
• Exercising

Based on your hobbies, let’s move onto the next point.

5. Join a group based on your interests.

Unless you live in the middle of nowhere, you’re bound to find local hobby groups near you! So instead of thinking of joining random groups where you have nothing in common, it’s better to join a group with familiarity.

That is why I wanted you to list the hobbies you’re into, so you can join groups where you have something in common. So if you’re into things like hiking or video games, you’ll find it MUCH easier to interact with people who are into hiking and/or video games like you are.

You can find social groups in your area through various ways, including:

• Meetup.com
• Facebook
• Hobby stores and businesses (e.g. the video game store hosting video game events)
• Joining recreational clubs at your work

This may sound like a no-brainer, but we often neglect the social opportunities we have at our workplace! A lot of companies have recreation clubs where not only you can meet other fellow co-workers to socialize with, but you can also meet people outside of your work circle. So if you’re having a hard time meeting new friends and you’re working full-time, inquire and find out if there are social clubs and gatherings in your workplace. I know this isn’t for everyone though; you may not want your work life to be part of your social life. If that’s the case, then you may want to forego this route of making new friends.

Now this blog is for 30+ year olds and most likely, you won’t be in college or university at this point in your life. But if you are, then you should definitely take advantage of the social and recreation clubs at your post-secondary school! I myself met a lot of cool people when I was in college; it was truly a fun time. Now would I recommend going to college just to meet new friends? Probably not. But if you are enrolled, then utilize the recreational activities there to meet new friends!

6. Host your own events!

Okay, don’t freak out! I myself have hosted many events and social gatherings throughout the years and honestly, it’s not that scary! I’m not asking you to hold a big convention and do public speaking. Your own event can be as casual as hosting a get-together at a local cafe with people in the same hobby. That’s how I got started.

I highly recommend hosting your own events and social gatherings if you’re finding that there no events near you. So if there are no board games or hiking enthusiasts groups, then why not start your own? To make things more comfortable, you can bring a friend or family member to accompany you. But just be sure to socialize the new people attending your events and not to the people you already know; that would defeat the whole purpose!

7. Be patient.

Last but not least, I want to emphasize that making new friends will take some time. Not only can going out and socializing be time-consuming, finding people who want to be friends with you can always be challenging. On top of that, you don’t want to just accept anyone as a new friend. You want to make sure you’re getting good quality friends as well.

Summary

To summarize, here are the 7 things you need to know when it comes to making new friends:

Figure out the potential logistical reasons you’re not making new friends.

1. Figure out the potential logistical reasons you’re not making new friends.
2. Your social skills are important.
3. What do I have to offer?
4. What are my interests and hobbies?
5. Join a group based on your interests.
6. Host your own events!
7. Be patient.

And there you have it. As long as you’re going out, putting yourself out there and giving yourself the most opportunities to meet new people, you’re going in the right direction!

I hope you found this post useful! As always, if you have any questions or feedback, leave them in the comments. Now get out there and have fun socializing!