How To Relate To Others – A Complete Guide
How to relate to others!
I don’t know; maybe I was born with it (but it’s definitely not Maybelline). But I’ve always had a great ability to be empathetic and relate to others. It could have been with life experience that I had a sense of connecting with others through similarity. And I have to say; it’s made things so much easier for me to make new friends and keep them. Having this skill is so useful and handy; it’s something that I recommend everyone to have.
However, I realize that not everyone has this same ability to relate to others. It could be for sooo many reasons. Either you are so focused on yourself that you may find it difficult to see how others feel. This isn’t a knock on you; that’s just how you are. Or maybe you’re so wrapped up in saying and doing the right things, you forget to connect with the actual person.
If you find yourself struggling to connect with others, not to fear. I am here to help you today with this skill.
In this post, I’ll give you 5 ways on bettering yourself on how to relate to others. Whether you want to make new friends or have better connections, these strategies will definitely help you out. Some of these are pretty easy to do, while others may take time to develop. After learning these things, you’ll find it easier to relate to others.
Without further ado, let’s get started.
1. Be a better listener.
I will keep hammering this point in a bunch of my blog posts until the end of the time! Being a good listener will not only win you so many friends, you’ll also find it incredibly easy to relate to others. Having good listening skills does take some practice. But if you interact and socialize with friends often enough, you’ll get the hang of it.
Everyone is passionate about something. Whether that’s food, relationships or money, if you can listen to what the person is saying and give feedback, you can easily relate to someone without much any effort!
For example:
Me: What’s your favorite food for dinner?
Friend: Lasagna!
Me: Oh that’s pretty cool! I really like the cheesy and tomato sauce of lasagna. Do you like Italian food in general?
Friend: Absolutely! I always enjoy spaghetti and meatballs, but I’m not really into pizza.
Me: Really? I’m surprised you don’t like pizza because everyone loves pizza. Why is that?
Friend: I don’t know, I’ve had bad experiences with pizza. Either the crust is too dry or the toppings aren’t fresh.
Me: Which pizza joints did you visit? I think I can find you some better restaurants than the ones you went to.
I honestly just made this random conversation up. But I hope I have showed how simple it is to keep a conversation going if you just go into listening mode and give simple feedback to the person you’re talking to. While the topic of Italian food might seem boring, that person is engaged because you’re getting their opinion and experiences, which people love to share. I find most of the time, you just have to listen and you can get people talking on and on!
2. Don’t be afraid if you don’t know.
On the contrary, I also wanted to point out that you don’t need to know everything. You can’t know everything, and you shouldn’t pretend to know that you do. In fact, trying to pretend that you’re knowledgeable about a topic not only makes you look bad, it also makes you look untrustworthy. And in the context of relating to others, that is not what you want.
Instead, you can just say that you don’t know. If your friend (or whoever you’re talking to) ends up mentioning something you have no clue what they’re talking about, then let them know and say “I have no clue.” I do it all the time. When my friends talk about something I have no experience with, I just say, “I haven’t tried it yet myself but would like to.”
By showing that you’re not an expert on everything, your friends can find it easier to relate to you. Because no one knows it all.
One of the easier ways to relate to someone is by sharing your own similar experiences with them. It shows that you feel the same way they did, and you have something in common with them.
BUT you have to be careful with this. While sharing your stories is fine from time to time, you don’t want the whole conversation to be all about you. Remember, you’re trying to relate to your friend and connect with them, not sharing your life story with them! When I was younger, I made the mistake of always trying to relate to someone by sharing a long winded story everytime my friend made a point. The conversation to them probably felt like it was all about me, and they clearly showed their frustration saying, “Everytime we talk, it’s always about you.” And looking back, I can see why they feel that way.
So if you are going to share a story, make sure you steer the conversation back to them. So if you’re talking about hiking and you share your most recent hiking trip, try to ask them a question after you’re done talking about it.
Which leads me to my next point…
4. Ask questions and be genuinely interested.
This is another easy way to relate to others and gain new friends. All you have to do is just keep asking questions. So for example, if your friend loves to talk about cars, just keep asking them questions about it until they don’t want to talk about it anymore.
In my experience, I find that people love to talk about their interests and hobbies to their friends as much as they can. If you are willing to listen, ask questions and be genuinely interested, then they’ll be more than happy to explain and keep talking about it.
Now the key is to be genuinely interested in the topic. When it’s about a topic that we both are knowledgeable in (e.g. video games), then I have no issues asking easy questions. But if it’s a topic that I’m not really familiar with (e.g. fashion), then I’ll try to ask questions that I genuinely would want the answer to. For example, if my friend talks about clothing they like, I’ll ask how much does it usually cost and if they’re willing to spend that much on it. That way, I get an answer that I genuinely want to know and they can talk about their own opinions on it.
Asking questions works really well if you find that you’re not a social butterfly and struggle with keeping a conversation going. It requires you to talk less while still relating to your friend.
5. Gain more life experience.
Last but not least, gaining more life experience will help you relate to others so much. Nothing can replace real-life experience and when you have that, you can easily talk about them and share that with friends. I myself have traveled a lot, and I have gained tons of experience doing so.
I feel like I’m able to relate to others so easily because I’ve done a lot of the things they have as well. Although gaining life experience will take a long time and not something overnight, it’s something you can do passively. And when you do, you’ll find it easier to relate to friends.
Bonus: do journalism!
I wanted to throw this one in because I cannot discount how this has also helped me relate to others. I used to be a journalist, and one of the things you learn is listening to what the interviewee has to say. Getting the right quotes and important points is what makes a story captivating and intriguing.
Another technique you learn in journalism is the “follow-up question.” This is when you ask a question to the interviewee based on what they said. A follow-up question is not something you wrote down before the interview; it’s a question you made on the fly. So if the story was about a government program improving quality of life and they talk about more money to spend, a follow-up question would be, “What do you spend the extra disposable income on, now that you have more money to spend?”
You can bet that I use the follow-up question technique with my friends! By listening to what they have to say, I always ask them questions based on what they said. It shows that I’m listening to them and interested in what they have to say, making it easier to connect with them.
Another bonus: do improv!
Improv teaches you how to think on your feet in order to make quick responses. The whole point is about improvising after all.
If you practice improv, it’ll help you to be more talkative without having to think! I’ve seen it with my friends who have taken improv, and it’s pretty awesome how fast and quick they can respond to pretty much anything in a conversation. Plus improv will teach you some good acting skills as well.
Summary
To summarize, here are the 5 ways on how to relate to others:
- Be a better listener.
- Don’t be afraid if you don’t know.
- Briefly share your own related experiences (but be careful with this).
- Ask questions and be genuinely interested in it.
- Gain more life experience.
And there you have it; 5 ways on how to relate to others. I hope you found this post helpful! Now get out there and connect with some friends.
If you have any questions or feedback, leave them in the comments below!
