How To Know If Friends Are Fake
How to know if your friends are fake.
This is definitely not the brightest topic to talk about. But I believe it’s something you’ll want to be informed about. For most of us at least, having friends is something we all love and cherish. With great friends, you can count on them to be there for you and to support you.
However, not everyone has good intentions. Whether it’s someone latching onto you as a fake friend or you yourself are openly willing to have many friends, you are bound to run into not so great people. Even though I’m pretty strict with who I let in my friend’s circle, I find that you run into people who want to take advantage of you. But I’m here today to help you avoid that!
In this post, I’ll give you 5 ways on how to know if friends are fake. Some of these things may be obvious, while others are far more subtle. By being aware of fake friends, you’ll be able to take control of your friend circle and have better quality friendships.
1. Always arguing with you or challenging you.
The first sign of a fake friend is one that always challenges your authority. For example, if you’re trying to plan a night out and they don’t want to agree with what you’re doing or making you feel like you’re incompetent, then I would question if they’re being a good friend to you.
Now to be fair, a good friend won’t always say “yes” to you about everything. They should be telling you or questioning you if they feel it’s wrong or not; honesty is the best policy. But if they’re always trying to start an argument with you over trivial things, then I would question if they’re your friend or not. Friends usually agree or compromise on things; after all, commonality is what brings you guys together. Hanging around who is always difficult should raise red flags for you.
If your friend is trying to challenge you all the time, then you should stop inviting them to events or don’t engage with them.
2. Making you look bad in front of others.
The next thing you should look out for; if they make you look bad in front of others. Being a good friend is about protecting one’s reputation. A good friend won’t ever try to embarrass you willingly or make you look like a loser. For example, if you and your friend are talking to another group and they make fun of you in front of the group, that’s a red flag. A small joke is fine. But if they’re belittling you consistently, then you have to question if they’re your friend or not.
A fake friend will try to “one up” you in a social setting, using you to look good at your expense. So if your “friend” is making you look bad in front of others, then you need to put your foot down and let them know it’s not appreciated.
3. Tries to bring you down (i.e. crabs in a bucket mentality).
This is different from insulting or making fun of you. In short, this is more about not wanting you to succeed. Whether it’s discouraging you from going what you want, or purposely giving you bad advice to fail (yes it could happen), a good friend would never stray on the wrong path. A good friend will encourage you to go for your goals, even if they don’t necessarily agree with you or personally do the same.
A fake friend will want to bring you down, like crabs in a bucket. If they’re miserable and not achieving anything, they may want to bring you to their level as well. You should be aware of these things. If you associate with someone who doesn’t align with your goals, or they always bring you down, it’s time to cut them away from your life.
4. Only wants you around to use you.
You can usually tell a fake friend from a real one based on when they want to spend time with you. A good friend will want to hangout with you, regardless of the location or circumstances. But a fake friend will only want to hang out with you if you’re of use to them.
Some examples of you being useful include:
- When they need a ride with you in your car to get somewhere
- If you’re planning to go for lunch/dinner/drinks and they want to freeload off you
- If you have social connections with cool people and they only want to hangout with them, not with you
If you feel any of your friends take advantage of you and ONLY spend time with you during these type of situations, then red flag! You can even call them out on it and ask why they only want your company when you’re of use to them.
5. Does not respect your boundaries.
Last but not least, a fake friend will push your boundaries in a bad way. For example, if you do not like alcohol, a friend will pressure you constantly to go drinking with them. While your good friends may want to do stuff you’re not comfortable with, they’ll always respect your boundaries.
And while a good friend will always want what’s best for you (that could mean pushing your boundaries a little bit), if you’re always feeling uncomfortable around them, then you gotta question if they’re being a genuine friend to you. Knowing that balance between challenging you as a genuine friend versus walking all over you is something that takes time to learn. But a bad friend will always try to push you around no matter what.
Summary
To summarize, here are the 5 ways on how to know if friends are fake:
- Always arguing with you or challenging you.
- Making you look bad in front of others.
- Tries to bring you down (i.e. crabs in a bucket mentality).
- Only wants you around to use you.
- Does not respect your boundaries.
And there you have it; 5 ways on how to know if your friends are fake! I hope you found this post informative.
If you have any questions or feedback, leave them in the comments.
