How To Get A Friend Back – A Complete Guide

How to get a friend back.

It happens to the best of us; we make mistakes in a friendship that costs us dearly. In fact, we may lose out on a valuable friend when we do the wrong things to them. While no one is perfect, there are things that you may have done that cost you that great friend you once had.

But what if I told you that you may be able to get that friend back? While it’s not always a guarantee, there are some steps you can take to regain the friendship you once had. And that’s what I’ll be discussing today.

In this post, I’ll go over 5 steps you can take on how to get a friend back. Whether it’s a mistake you made or changing logistics, great friends are to be valued and cherished. And if you have lost a friend on bad terms, you can potentially regain them back.

Alright, let’s get into it.

Reach out to them.

The first thing you must do when you’re trying to get a friend back; reach out to them! Yes, they’re definitely not going to come to you to make amends. You have to reach out to them and make the first time in trying to restore the friendship back the way it was.

You can try messaging them online using their social media. Or texting them through the phone number that you still may have. Whatever method of contact you have, you should use. But whatever you do, don’t use a mutual friend or family member to contact them on your behalf; do it yourself! If your friend is that important to you, you should directly contact them, not anyone else.

Now what do you say to them? The first message or contact will always be awkward, so don’t beat yourself down if you’re nervous. If they’re still angry at you, or it’s been a very long time since you’ve talked to them, even more so.

What I recommend is by simply saying hello and wishing them well. Something along the lines of, (let’s say your friend’s name is Stacey)

“Hey Stacey, it’s James. I hope you are doing and your family is well.”

Now that you know to take the initiative, what do you do next? Let’s find out.

Give them the benefit of the doubt.

The next thing you should do when talking to them; give them the benefit of the doubt. This is NOT the time to start another argument or disagreement with them. You’re trying to make amends, so fueling another fire is a bad idea.

Instead, try to give them the benefit and be apologetic about what happened between you two. Yes, I know it can be hard to admit you fucked up (even if you didn’t). But if you are unable to show that you’re able to see a different side to their story, why would they want to be friends with you again?

By showing humility, you will make it easier for them to forgive you. Admit your faults while still preserving your boundaries.

Continuing with that message, here’s what I would say:

“Hey Stacey, it’s James. I hope you are doing and your family is well.

About what happened, I want you to know that I’m really sorry about the things I said and did. Although we may not agree on stuff, I understand where you’re coming from. You are my friend and I never meant to hurt you.”

Alright, next step…

Clear up ANY misunderstandings.

The next thing you should do when you’re trying to win a friend back; clear up any misunderstandings you two may have. Let’s face it; a lot of friendships get ruined due to misunderstandings. People take things the wrong way (including you), and we are all led to a conclusion that our friends really don’t like us.

So in this case, you want to know if your friend misunderstood you initially, and make it clear that it was misunderstanding. On the flip side, you want to know if something they did or said to you was intentional, so you know where they’re coming from. Here what they have to say, and be transparent about the situation.

Let’s continue that message:

“Hey Stacey, it’s James. I hope you are doing and your family is well.

About what happened, I want you to know that I’m really sorry about the things I said and did. Although we may not agree on stuff, I understand where you’re coming from. You are my friend and I never meant to hurt you.

I feel like I may have misunderstood you at the time when you said that thing to me. If you’re willing to talk, I’d like to know what you meant so I can understand where you’re coming from.”

Move forward if possible.

Although the past is the past and you can’t change what happened between you and your friend, you can always move forward. That is the message you’re trying to send out. That you’re apologetic, things were misunderstood, that you’re willing to listen and see from their point of view, and hoping that you can move forward.

Moving forward with that message:

“Hey Stacey, it’s James. I hope you are doing and your family is well.

About what happened, I want you to know that I’m really sorry about the things I said and did. Although we may not agree on stuff, I understand where you’re coming from. You are my friend and I never meant to hurt you.

I feel like I may have misunderstood you at the time when you said that thing to me. If you’re willing to talk, I’d like to know what you meant so I can understand where you’re coming from.

I’m hoping we can talk it out and hear what you have to say. You were always kind and awesome to me, and I really appreciated that. If you’re up to chat again, let me know. If you don’t want to, then that’s fine.”

What if they still don’t want to be friends anymore?

So you send that message and despite your best efforts to make up and start over on a clean slate, they still don’t want to be friends anymore? Well unfortunately, there is nothing much you can do. But if not, then just know you tried your best to amend your mistakes and offer them a chance to be friends again. Sometimes it’ll work out. Other times the friendship is truly over.

I will say I have recovered quite a few friendships after getting into an argument or not talking for so long. Remember that you guys were friends before, and there was a reason you two bonded together. Someone who was really great friends with you, they probably won’t let that get in the way of reconnecting again!

Conclusion

Anyways, I hope you found this post helpful. These are the steps I would take on how to get a friend back. You can’t always salvage a friendship. But if you are willing to admit your mistakes and reach out to them, then you know that you put in the effort to do so.

If you have any questions or comments regarding this topic, leave them in the comments below!