How To Deal With A Friend Betrayal
How to deal with a friend betrayal.
It can be one of the most devastating things that can happen to you. Someone that you opened up to and trusted, decides to go behind your back and betray you. It’s one of the worst things that can happen and most of the time, it feels terrible.
Hopefully you’ll never have to go through this experience. But if you did, this is why this post is being made. It’s to help you figure out what to do next and potentially move forward.
But for those who don’t know…
What is a friend betrayal?
A friend betrayal is when a friend does something negative to you that’s incredibly bad where you have or will have ended the friendship. Note that we are not talking about minor arguments or disagreements that can happen in any friendship; that is normal. We are talking about stuff that would emotionally hurt anyone if it occurred to them, such as:
- Talking negatively bad about you behind your back while putting up a façade all along
- Getting into an affair with someone you love
- Suddenly becomes your enemy and dislikes you without warning
- Abandons you when you need them the most
- Getting you into trouble
In this post, I’ll go over 5 ways on how to deal with a friend betrayal. These strategies will make sure you deal with it properly. Because moving on with the situation is the most important thing, and I’ll show you how.
Alright, let’s get into it.
1. Decide if you want to stay friends with them or not.
The first thing you should do is decide if you want to still be friends or not. I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “No freaking way I’d be friends with them again!” And that’s completely fair.
But I’d also say that it depends on the circumstances and how your friend really is. They may be worth forgiving. Each situation is different. Once you have taken a deep breath and had some time to think, then you should consider if you want to stay friends with them. It’s easy to get wrapped up in what they did, but don’t forget they were your friend before.
For some situations such as sabotaging a romantic relationship or getting you into trouble, that to me would be a deal breaker where you cannot be friends with them again. A friend is supposed to be someone you trust, and by having an affair or putting you into danger, that is not a real friend you can count on.
But for other situations, it may be forgivable. For example, if a friend talked bad behind your back and you caught them, you can find out why they did it. Was it because there was an issue they had with you but were too afraid to confront you about it? That is something that can be fixed, where you can reassure them that they can be upfront and honest with you.
Another thing to observe is their personality and actions they take. If the betrayal was a minor one-off situation and they’re completely apologetic about it and willing to change their behaviors, then you may consider being friends with them. But if you know that their personality and morals lead them to do shady stuff like betraying you, then you know it’s not worth staying friends with them.
I think it’s important to make a rational decision. Letting your emotions decide won’t feel right to you. But when you make a decision after you’ve thought about it, it certainly is a lot better.
2. Do not retaliate back.
Regardless of whether you decide to continue or end the friendship, you do NOT want to retaliate back at them. That means physically, emotionally or logistically. It may be tempting to get back at them for doing such a terrible thing to you. But in the end, it will only lead to more conflict and trouble for you.
Remember that you’re trying to move on from your friend’s betrayal. Retaliating will only make it more difficult to do so. Being the better person means accepting that what they did was wrong and not needing to seek revenge to feel good about yourself. The best satisfaction comes from someone trying to do you dirty, but you’re able to pick yourself up and not let it get to you.
3. Find support to help you get through this.
Just because your friend did something bad to you and affected you negatively, doesn’t mean you can’t seek support from others. Remember that you have other friends you can count in! They can be there to support you emotionally through what happened.
Some people do bad things, and it can be reassuring to know that what they did was wrong and that what you did was not your fault. Sometimes, we often blame ourselves for what happened, and we need our friends to let us know that we weren’t the ones to blame. I’ve seen my friends do this and to let them genuinely know that they’re not to blame for anything, and that they are there for support.
4. Learn from your (potential) mistakes.
With that said, perhaps there are some things to learn from your friend’s betrayal. Again, I am not blaming for you what happened. But you can always learn from negative experiences as well.
For example, if your friend was prone to do stuff like betraying you, maybe they were a bad friend in the making (click here to see the signs of a bad friend). Or if you saw that they like to gossip about others, it was only a matter of time before they started gossiping about you (click here to see why talking bad about others is not a good idea).
With that said, you can’t always predict if a friend turns out sour later on. If you can with 100% accuracy, you should play the lottery! All you can do is learn from your experiences.
5. Move on and move forward.
Once you taken the previous 4 steps, then the last step is of course to move on and move forward with your life. Again, lingering with resentment about what your friend did will only make it harder to go forward with other things in life. So make your decisions with your friendship, find support, learn from your mistakes and move on!
Summary
To summarize, here are the 5 things you should know on how to deal with a friend betrayal:
- Decide if you want to stay friends with them or not.
- Do not retaliate back.
- Find support to help you get through this.
- Learn from your (potential) mistakes.
- Move on and move forward.
And there you have it; the 5 things on how to deal with a friend betrayal. I hope you found this post informative.
If you have any questions or feedback, leave them in the comments below.
