10 Tips On How To Become Popular

How to become popular!

You know, this is one of those topics I never really thought about much. I don’t know, I’ve always been a rebel or a hipster in a sense that I never wanted to do what’s trendy. I wanted to be different.

But with that said, I think a lot of us deep down want to feel loved and respected by the people around us. And perhaps you could interpret that as being popular amongst others. So that’s partly why I want to talk about this topic. Whatever your reasons may be, you want to learn how to become popular and I’m here to help.

In this post, I’ll go over 10 ways on how to become popular. These are the most honest and ethical ways to boost your popularity while respecting others. Some of these will be easy to do while others will take more time.

Alright, let’s begin.

Why listen to me?

So you may be wondering, why you should listen to me? Am I the most popular guy ever? I’m not sure. But I have had to run groups and organize events where I had to be the center of attention. And when you’re the center of attention, you need a certain level of respect in order for people to listen to you. If you aren’t, you will “lose the room.”

Also, I’ve worked with many many people who were more charismatic than me. I would study their characteristics and what made people love them so much. And when I myself studied self-improvement, I didn’t necessarily go for popularity but I wanted to  better connect with people

Oh and I have 900+ friends on my Facebook account? Does that qualify me as being popular? 🙂

1. Never compromise your dignity and morals for the sake of being popular.

You should always stay firm on your beliefs and respecting yourself. But this is especially true when you’re trying to become more popular with others. For example, if you hate drinking alcohol but decide to do drinking just to be popular with friends, then you are sacrificing your morals for popularity. And over time, you will dislike yourself for having to compromise your morals just to please others.

Likewise, your dignity is important as well. So for example, if you need to use self-deprecating humor for people to pay attention to you, that will be to your detriment. Because people may like you, but they will not respect you. So while you’re trying to become more popular, you should never do it with your dignity or morals on the line.

2. Never try to be popular at the expense of others.

You’ve probably seen this type of behavior in movies or in real life; trying to be popular at the expense of others. The most obvious example is making fun of others or bullying people. Maybe if you’re a kid in high school, this could work. But this blog is for us adults, and in the adult world, this is unacceptable and will backfire on you.

From what I’ve seen, the people who need to be popular at the expense of others tend to attract the wrong type of people. And in the end, they end up being less popular with people in the long run as their bad reputation comes around. So while you’re trying to become popular, never bring anyone down in order to do so.

3. You may have to change your unattractive behaviors to see improvements.

Lastly, if you feel right now that you’re turning away people from you because of the way you are, just know that you can change this but you may have to change yourself. You may be exhibiting behaviors that are unattractive to people. If that’s the case, then you need to figure out which traits these are to see results. Click here to view my article on finding which behaviors are unattractive to others.

4. Listening to others

I keep posting about the importance of listening to others all the time, and there’s a reason why. Listening is one of the easiest things you can do that can quickly win you some friendships. When it comes to being more popular, listening is an important skill to have. Being able to resonate and show empathy for others is crucial to being popular with people, and the only way to do so is by listening to what people have to say.

Listening is a whole other topic that I can do an entire post about. But to sum up how to be an effective listener: ask questions based on what someone says to you, don’t interrupt when people are talking, be genuinely interested in what people have to say, and a lot more.

5. Being vulnerable.

One of my misconceptions I had with popular people was that I thought they had to always be strong and perfect. As if they had no weaknesses at all.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth!

In both my experience being with popular people and resonating with others myself, being vulnerable and showing a bit of weakness is a great way to connect with people. It shows that you yourself are human and relatable to others.

I remember when I was a newbie at work and making a lot of mistakes when I first started out. Then a popular co-worker there talked to me and said how he struggled with the job at first as well, and how what I went through was normal. Not only was he popular with the workforce, he instantly won my approval that day as well, by showing his imperfections.

At an event I hosted, I was talking to one of my close friends and he mentioned to me how he used to have really unattractive traits that turned people off. I couldn’t believe it at the time, because when I met him, he was incredibly confident and could talk to anyone he wanted. I was amazed! It helped me to relate to him better when he shared his past and how he had to learn to become better. It inspired me to do the same, to be honest.

So if you think you need to be perfect without mistakes on order to be popular, think again! Showing some vulnerability and being humble will win you the hearts of many people.

6. Making people feel good.

This one is pretty simple. By making people feel GENUINELY great about themselves, then you will become a popular person. Who doesn’t want to hangout with someone who gives them positive vibes?

For me, I try to see people in a positive light as much as I can. When I talk to someone, I don’t try to bring them down. I engage the conversation in a way that focuses on the positive and I find people do appreciate that. Unless they purposely want to be sad, then this is something out of your control. But even with negative people, I also find them to appreciate you when you try to focus on the positive.

7. Congruence

As nerve-wracking as it may seem, people are always going to be judging you. And one of the things people appreciate is if you’re congruent with your beliefs. Going back to my previous point about morals and beliefs, this is where sticking to them really helps out. Everyone loves someone who always stands by their beliefs and they say, even if people may not agree with them.

I knew a co-worker who would never let the boss talk down to them. That is what they would say and they would follow through on it. And if the boss was talking down to a fellow co-worker when it was unjustified, then he would stand up for them. Talking the talk and never compromising his standards is what made him popular at my workplace.

On the flip side, I’ve known quite a few people who would say they would do something and completely contradict what they said they would do. For example, if you say you never talk bad about anyone behind their back, but then you start gossiping about someone when they’re not around, then you’re being a hypocrite! Stuff like this makes people become weary of you, and harder to trust. And ultimately, hinders you from being popular.

So again, having strong beliefs and morals and sticking to them is important to come off as congruent.

8. Sense of humor.

This is just my opinion, but what I’ve noticed with people who are popular; they have a great sense of humor. Whether it’s making witty jokes or laughing with you about random stuff, popular people know how to light up a conversation.

Even the most serious people I know, have some sort of sense of humor from time to time.

I’m not saying you have to be a comedian or know how to tell jokes. Humor is a difficult topic, because it has to be done right in my opinion. In fact, taking everything as a joke can be unattractive as it can come off as insecurity. But if you learn to laugh a little and take things lightly sometimes, you’ll find it easy to resonate with people.

9. Helpful and resourceful.

The most popular people I find, tend to enjoy being helpful and resourceful to others. Whether it’s giving useful advice or directing people to the right direction, popular people are natural givers.

The best and easiest way to be resourceful is by helping out when you can. For example, if you’re into hiking and someone who is new wants to learn about it, you can give your experience and wisdom about hiking. Another thing you can do is getting used to doing little kind things such as holding the door for people, being polite to others and giving a helping hand when needed.

So I’m not saying you have to stay a charity or start giving your money away to others for people to like you. Not at all! That is a one-way ticket for being taken advantage of.

10. Confidence – the right kind.

This is another controversial one as confidence is something that is highly valued and a lot of people think “you either have it or you don’t.” But I tend to disagree with this in 2 ways. First, confidence can be built up with time and effort through various topics (how to do this, I’ll talk about another). And to a certain extent, confidence definitely helps in being popular as being timid or very shy can turn off a lot of people. Put simply, people want to feel at ease when talking to someone and if you’re always tense and nervous, then you’ll give off that same energy which people don’t want.

Secondly, in terms of being popular, you don’t need to be perfectly confident. Take me for example. I would say my confidence isn’t always perfect; I struggled with low self esteem for the longest time actually. But even I have no issues making friends and getting along well with people, and in many cases, I’m pretty popular myself.

I think people mix confidence with congruence, which I talked about already. Someone who is not sure of themselves or trying to lie about their personality will sometimes come off as not being confident. But that doesn’t have to do with confidence; it has to do with being not being congruent.

Also, trying to be too confident can come off either as arrogant or insecure. I’m sure you’ve met people who try to put up a confident front, only to truly be insecure on the inside. Honesty is the best policy in my opinion; if you’re not confident genuinely, then its okay to show that. People will still like you and respect you for who you are.

Summary

To summarize, here are the 10 ways on how to become popular:

1. Never compromise your dignity and morals for the sake of being popular.
2. Never try to be popular at the expense of others.
3. You may have to change your unattractive behaviors to see improvements.
4. Listening to others.
5. Being vulnerable.
6. Making people feel good.
7. Congruence.
8. Sense of humor.
9. Helpful and resourceful.
10. Confidence – the right kind.

And there you have it; 10 ways on how to become popular with people. I hope you found this post useful. Again, it’s about working on you to be more attractive to people while being honest, transparent and true to yourself.

If you have any questions or feedback, leave them in the comments below!