How To Be More Social As An Introvert!

How to be more social as an introvert!

So I myself have hosted many social gatherings by myself and I’d say I’m pretty good at engaging in conversations. But when I tell someone that I’m an introvert, they find it hard to believe.

I think it has to do with 2 things. First, there is a false belief that introverts are socially inept (at least compared to introverts). Introverts can be social; we just need our recharge time after an interaction.

Secondly and more importantly, there may be the belief that introverts cannot socialize at all. That couldn’t be further from the truth! And today, I want to share with you all the things I do as an introvert when it comes to socializing.

In this post, I’ll go over 5 useful tips on how to be more social as an introvert. I’ll list all the things you should know to make it as easy and comfortable as possible to be a social introvert. That way, you can have great social interactions, even if you are introverted.

Without further ado let’s get started!

Contents hide

1 1. Prepare stories and conversations in advance.

2 2. Listening is still important.

3 3. Practice makes perfect.

4 4. You need your recharge time.

5 5. It’s not always your fault.

6 Summary

1. Prepare stories and conversations in advance.

For me now, I have no problems striking up a conversation with someone and talking about random stuff. It comes naturally now. But as someone who was pretty shy back then, this was not the case. Not only would I struggle with finding things to say, I would get so nervous about saying the wrong things, which would make me say nothing.

When I got stuck and didn’t know what to say, I always had prepared stories and things in advance to talk about. So if I was going to a social event or a hangout, I’d have a few things prepared in advance to rant on about. For example, when I went to Meetup events, I’d have stories about politics, about my childhood, about my school/work experiences and interesting stories about myself to talk about. That way, when someone asks me the inevitable “Where do you work/go to school” or “What’s new with you,” I’d always have something to say. It worked pretty well for me and helped me engage with more people by not freezing out and not knowing what to say.

With that said, you don’t want to rely too much on prepared stories. A natural conversation is the best way to connect with people, and relying on stories can feel robotic and less genuine. So you can use as just a tool to help you when you’re learning to be more social as an introvert.

Bonus tip: I’ve heard that taking improv is not only a great way to learn acting skills, but it also helps you think of conversations on the spot. I took an improv class once and found it incredibly useful in terms of improvising and striking up conversations about anything!

2. Listening is still important.

I will keep repeating this on my blog because I definitely want to emphasize how important listening is. On your journey to becoming more social as an introvert, you want to also make sure you’re striking a balance between talking and listening.

I find with some introverts, they can sometimes tend to overcompensate with their shyness with talking too much. They feel like they need to talk as much as possible in order to avoid any awkwardness. While it makes sense to be able to socialize, talking over people is not a good thing either. People will get annoyed if you don’t let them speak and share their thoughts and stories. It’ll take some time to know when to talk and when to listen, but when in doubt, just ask questions to get the conversation going. If anything, in my experience I noticed people enjoyed talking to me when I had less to say and let them speak. Trust me, people love talking about themselves! So let them do that and be a good listener.

3. Practice makes perfect.

Being able to become more social as an introvert won’t happen overnight. Much like any other skill, it’s going to take some time before you get the hang of socializing and getting good at it.

For me, this involved going out to many social events, hangouts and friend gatherings and talking to all sorts of different people. And yes, that means not talking to only your current friends. By getting yourself to socialize with different people you never met before, it’ll teach you how to have good conservations and be social in general.

I know this may sound strange in today’s world. But back before social media took over the world, we used to have to talk to people we didn’t know and it was fine.

4. You need your recharge time.

The main difference between introverts and extroverts according to research (link); extroverts are energized when socializing with others. Meanwhile, us introverts get drained after socializing with people! As an introvert myself, I can totally relate to that. After a night out socializing, I just feel mentally drained and want to go back into my “cave” and get away from people to “recharge” my social batteries.

If you feel this way as an introvert, that’s totally fine! It’s what makes us introverts. The reason why I bring this up is because I don’t want you to feel bad about it. It’s okay to let your friends and family know that you need your space and want to be alone for a bit to not socialize.

5. It’s not always your fault.

Last but not least, I want you to know that even despite your best efforts, it can simply be impossible to socialize and connect with everyone. Some people may not like you. Maybe you said the wrong thing that made them shut you out socially. Or they themselves are anti-social and don’t want to talk to anyone.

Just know that sometimes, it’s not your fault that this happens. I’ve talked to many many people who simply were either difficult to socialize with, or they really just didn’t want to talk to me. And I used to beat myself up mentally when I couldn’t connect with these people. While for sure sometimes it was my mistake, other times I realized later that it was out of my control. Like no matter what I did, I couldn’t connect with them, even if I tried.

So if you feel you did your best to talk to someone and they don’t want to open up to you, then don’t feel bad. Sometimes the cliche is true: it’s not you, it’s them.