How To Be More Social And Talkative! (5 More Ways)
How to be more social and talkative!
When it comes to having good friendships and arguably a happier life, you’ll definitely need to be social with others. For some people, this is as easy as ABC! But I know for you some of you, it can feel like building a rocket ship.
Being social is not easy for everyone, especially if you’re not used to talking much. I already made a post like this before (click here to see how to be social part 1). I wanted to make a second post on 5 other ways on how to be more social and talkative!
But let’s first ask the question…
Being more social is not a skill you can master overnight but something anyone can easily improve on. Learning how to listen is the easiest way to have great conversations with people and to build friendships. Asking the right questions, being yourself and having many interests will also help you become more talkative. These factors will make you a more sociable person.
In this post, I’ll go over 5 more different ways on how to be more social and talkative. It doesn’t matter if you already have social skills or you’re naturally shy and introverted; these techniques will work for everyone and benefit all. I’m sure you’ll find these points useful
Without further ado, let’s get started!
1. Be an awesome listener.
Haha you knew I was going to bring this up yet again. Because by far, this is the best and easiest skill you can learn to be more talkative and social. Hence why I need to repeat this point AGAIN!
One easy way to be more talkative = ask a “follow-up question.” This is when you ask a question to the interviewee based on what they said. A follow-up question is not something you wrote down before the interview; it’s a question you made on the fly. So if the story was about a government program improving quality of life and they talk about more money to spend, a follow-up question would be, “What do you spend the extra disposable income on, now that you have more money to spend?”
You can bet that I use the follow-up question technique with my friends! By listening to what they have to say, I always ask them questions based on what they said. It shows that I’m listening to them and interested in what they have to say, making it easier to connect with them.
2. Don’t be afraid if you don’t know.
I want to point out that you don’t need to know everything. You can’t know everything, and you shouldn’t pretend to know that you do. In fact, trying to pretend that you’re knowledgeable about a topic not only makes you look bad, it also makes you look untrustworthy. And in the context of relating to others, that is not what you want.
Instead, you can just say that you don’t know. If your friend (or whoever you’re talking to) ends up mentioning something you have no clue what they’re talking about, then let them know and say “I have no clue.” I do it all the time. When my friends talk about something I have no experience with, I just say, “I haven’t tried it yet myself but would like to.”
By showing that you’re not an expert on everything, your friends can find it easier to relate to you. Because no one knows it all.
One of the easier ways to relate to someone is by sharing your own similar experiences with them. It shows that you feel the same way they did, and you have something in common with them.
BUT you have to be careful with this. While sharing your stories is fine from time to time, you don’t want the whole conversation to be all about you. Remember, you’re trying to relate to your friend and connect with them, not sharing your life story with them! When I was younger, I made the mistake of always trying to relate to someone by sharing a long winded story everytime my friend made a point. The conversation to them probably felt like it was all about me, and they clearly showed their frustration saying, “Everytime we talk, it’s always about you.” And looking back, I can see why they feel that way.
So if you are going to share a story, make sure you steer the conversation back to them. So if you’re talking about hiking and you share your most recent hiking trip, try to ask them a question after you’re done talking about it.
4. Prepare stories and conversations in advance.
For me now, I have no problems striking up a conversation with someone and talking about random stuff. It comes naturally now. But as someone who was pretty shy back then, this was not the case. Not only would I struggle with finding things to say, I would get so nervous about saying the wrong things, which would make me say nothing.
When I got stuck and didn’t know what to say, I always had prepared stories and things in advance to talk about. So if I was going to a social event or a hangout, I’d have a few things prepared in advance to rant on about. For example, when I went to Meetup events, I’d have stories about politics, about my childhood, about my school/work experiences and interesting stories about myself to talk about. That way, when someone asks me the inevitable “Where do you work/go to school” or “What’s new with you,” I’d always have something to say. It worked pretty well for me and helped me engage with more people by not freezing out and not knowing what to say.
With that said, you don’t want to rely too much on prepared stories. A natural conversation is the best way to connect with people, and relying on stories can feel robotic and less genuine. So you can use as just a tool to help you when you’re learning to be more social as an introvert.
5. Do improv!
Improv teaches you how to think on your feet in order to make quick responses. The whole point is about improvising after all.
If you practice improv, it’ll help you to be more talkative without having to think! I’ve seen it with my friends who have taken improv, and it’s pretty awesome how fast and quick they can respond to pretty much anything in a conversation. Plus improv will teach you some good acting skills as well.
Summary
To summarize, here are the 5 more ways on how to be more social and talkative:
- Be an awesome listener.
- Don’t be afraid if you don’t know.
- Briefly share your own related experiences (use with caution).
- Prepare stories and conversations in advance.
- Do improv!
And there you have it; all the different ways you can be more social and talkative! I hope you found this post helpful. Now get there and starting socializing. 🙂
If you have any questions, leave them in the comments below.
