How Many Friends Should You Have In Your 30s?
How many friends should you have in your 30s?
Your 30s is an interesting time in your life. Your career is probably just getting started and you’ve probably made a good amount of friends in your teenage and in your 20s as well.
And they say that you’re stuck with the same friends you have right now, but I don’t agree with that. In fact, I’d argue that your 30s is a great time to make new friends. Because people change and so do you. So while it’s great to have long lasting friends, you’ll also want new friends who align with your current values and beliefs (something your past friends may not be able to do).
How many friends should you have in your 30s? It’s a period in your life where you’re getting settled down, potentially having a family and really hammering in on your career. That means your time will be limited, so hanging with your friends every weekend probably won’t be happening. However, at the same time, you need friends to keep you healthy and in a good mental state. So what’s the right amount? That’s what we will be talking about today.
In this post, I’ll go over how many friends should you have in your 30s and figuring out what is the right amount for you. From having little to no friends, to potentially having too many friends, we shall see what works best for you.
To clarify, when I talk about friends in this context, I’m talking about friends who you share your personal life, secrets and vulnerability with. So no, your 500+ Facebook friends or Instagram followers don’t count, as you probably don’t interact with them on a deep level.
Without further ado, let’s get started.
0 friends (don’t recommend)
Let’s start with the polar extreme, which is having 0 close friends. Unless you’re really shy, introverted or so repulsive that no one wants to be your friend, it’s highly unlikely that you have no friends at all. Even if you did move to a new city or country where you have to “start over,” you’ll still have friends back home that you can talk to by phone or using the Internet.
Obviously, I don’t recommend having no friends. Not only is it a lonely experience, you will have no one to confide or share your experiences with. I can tell you from experience; keeping your thoughts to yourself or sitting alone at a restaurant all the time does suck.
But not to fear. If you found yourself in a situation where you no longer have any close friends at the moment, then you can always make new ones! Here are a few posts I made that can help you make new friends:
1-4 friends (recommend, most realistic)
They say “quality over quantity” and having only 1-4 close friends is a perfect example of that. I myself have only 3 or so close friends and it works well for me. If you’re introverted or you don’t like to socialize too much, then having 1-4 close friends is a great amount to have. Or if you’re a busy person like having a family or a full-time career, then you’ll find that having only a few close friends will be easier to manage. Remember that the more friends you have, the more you have to manage and maintain those friendships. While this is much easier in your 20s, it’s a lot more difficult in your 30s when you have more responsibilities in your life.
The only downside with having only 1-4 close friends is that you’ll likely have to look for new ones at some point in the future. Remember that people change and so do you, as well as friends moving away. So that close friend of yours may not be a close friend in the future. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s the reality. That’s okay though; as long as you’re keeping your social life active, you’re bound to meet great new friends in the future.
5-10 friends (recommend)
The next category is having a higher amount of close friends, which I have at 5-10 close friends. This is definitely a lot of close friends to have, and I feel like most people won’t have this many. However, you probably have these many friends if you’re extroverted, like to go out and socialize a lot, or you just that cool of a person to have so many people confide in you! Having that many people you can be close with is a great thing to have.
Of course, having these many friends is going to be hard to manage. It’s going to take a lot of time and effort to nurture and maintain all these close friendships. So perhaps a lot of your free time will be spent going out with them and spending time with them. It’s not easy but it’s still possible, even in your 30s.
More than 10 friends (don’t recommend)
When it comes to how many friends should you have in your 30s, the last category is having more than 10 close friends. To me, this is the most unrealistic scenario, as it’s VERY difficult to acquire that many close friends at once (having acquaintances/casual friends is totally different). At least for me, I’ve never had that many close friends in my life at the same time. You’d have to be super popular or make socializing a full-time job in order to obtain that many friends who are close to you. Not to mention it would take a ton of work to maintain all these close friendships.
So if you think you need to have more than 10 great friends at once, think again!
Conclusion
So when it comes to answering the question, “how many friends you should have in your 30s,” as you can see, the most realistic and ideal amount is around 1-5 close friends. It’s the most realistic option in terms of managing and nurturing these relationships, as well as having the time to see and talk to them. However, if you’re more of a social butterfly, then 5-10 close friends is not out of the ordinary either.
I hope you found this post informative and interesting! If you have any questions or feedback, let me know in the comments.
