Friendship And Boundaries In Your 30s
Friendship and boundaries in your 30s!
At least when I was younger, boundaries were a pretty loose concept to me. Unless it was something egregious, I would let my friends do almost whatever they wanted with me, boundaries wise. It makes sense; when you’re young, you usually just want to have as many friends as possible. And you have all the time in the world to spend with them.
But when you get older, oh boy do things change! Your life experience has taught you to not put up with BS. And with that, your standards and boundaries increase. That’s not necessary a bad thing either. In your 30s, your time becomes more limited and much more valuable. You don’t have time to put up with toxic behavior or people!
In this post, we are going to go over friendships and boundaries in your 30s, and what you should know. I’ll discuss striking a balance between enforcing your boundaries while maintaining the friendships that you have. I’ll go over what is considered realistic, as well as doing what’s best with your friends. Overall, boundaries are very important in your 30s, and you want to make that clear to your friends. I’ll show you how!
Without further ado, let’s get started!
You and your friends must be okay with change.
This is definitely one of the most challenging things facing you and your friends in your 30s. Not only is the world around you always changing, but you yourself can change and so can your friends. If you’ve known some of your friends for several years, it’s only natural for them to change in personality.
This can cause a lot of conflict in friendships, and one of the major reasons why friendships can end (click here to read the reasons why friendships end). The friend you knew 10 years ago may not be the same person today. And in terms of boundaries, you have to respect the person they are, whether you like it or not. On the flip side, if you yourself have changed, your friends must respect that change as well.
For example, maybe you used to drink a lot in your 20s but now you want to sober up in your 30s. You should enforce those boundaries where you don’t want to drink anymore and your friends should respect that, even if they still want to drink.
Overall, the world is always changing and people change as well. So it’s important to enforce boundaries to respect those changes.
Time is a valuable asset.
In your 30s, your time is incredibly value. It’s not like in your teens or 20s where you have plenty of time for your friends. Nah, in your 30s you probably have a full-time to commit to. And you may have a family to take care of as well. With those obligations, you can bet that your time is incredibly valuable in your 30s.
When it comes to boundaries, friends respecting your time and you respecting their time is very important. With your friends, you have to understand that they’re probably just as busy as you are. So if they are unable to hangout with you because of work or family commitments, you got to be okay with that. That also applies to your friends as well; when you’re busy with life, your friends should respect your time and not be so demanding that you hangout with them.
When you are in your 30s, the time you spend with your friends will probably be less. But you learn how to appreciate the times you spend with them.
Which leads me to my next point…
Don’t put up with BS.
One thing you get better at as you get older; putting up with less BS. You’ve already been through the crap that some people have already put you through, so of course you’d never tolerate that with your friends. This is especially true in your 30s when again, your time is limited. You just don’t have time to deal with that kind of stuff.
Your friends should know what your boundaries are. You don’t need to be a drill Sargeant about it, but you should make it clear that you deserve to be respected.
So if your friends are unreasonably giving you a hard time, then you might want to cut them out of your life. Your time and sanity are more valuable at this stage in your life.
No one is perfect.
No matter how old you are and what stage of your life you’re in, you have to remember that we’re all human. When it comes to enforcing and respecting boundaries, this is something to consider. Perhaps your friends did something wrong to you by accident and broke your boundaries. I say it’s important to give them a chance to redeem themselves.
Life can be busy and chaotic in your 30s, and not everything goes as planned. Maybe you need to cancel with your plans with friends last minute due to family obligations. Or your friend’s suddenly get angry at you one day. These things can happen, but I feel you should be forgiving as well. In your 30s, you’re more mature and patient to do so. While it’s important to maintain your boundaries, it’s okay to be lenient as well, especially with your friends.
Put in the effort.
Last but not least, both you and your friends have to put in the effort to maintain the friendship. I can tell you from my experience, it’s really easy to let your life take over and forget about your friends. Especially when you’re so busy with work and family, it could feel like your friends are an afterthought.
But try to not let that happen! Stay in touch with your friends. Try to meet up with them whenever it’s convenient for all parties. Because after all, friends are an important part of our lives. 🙂
Conclusion
I hope you found this post about friendship and boundaries in your 30s informative. It may seem more difficult to maintain friendships in this decade. But by enforcing your boundaries while also having a realistic outlook on things, you can keep your friendships strong and everlasting.
If you have any questions or feedback, leave them in the comments below!
