Friendship And Aging – What You NEED To Know
Friendship and aging!
If there are any friends you have had for several years or over a decade, you probably cherish those friends for being with you for so long. They’re probably the most loyal and awesome friends you may have.
But you may be wondering if your long-lasting friendships will ever change as you age. This is especially true in your 30s, when you and your friends have less time and more responsibilities. As someone in their 30s, I definitely have experience with this. And I can tell you that the friendships do not stay the same; they are always changing and evolving, just like our lives.
What are the things you should know about friendship and aging? That’s what we will be discussing today!
In this post, I’ll go over friendship and aging and the ways that they change when you get older. Whether it’s trying to maintain these friendships or figuring out your boundaries, I’ll give you all the important things you need to know. That way, you can come from a better place and make better decisions regarding your friendships in your 30s.
Without further ado, let’s get started!
Less BS you’ll put up with, while being more tolerant and understanding.
I know this may sound like an oxymoron, but here me out! Friendships in general are not exactly black and white, and regarding friendships and aging, that’s no exception either.
On one hand, as you get older you’ll likely put up with less BS from your friends. When you were a teenager or even in your early 20s, you just wanted to have as many friends as possible. And because of that, you may have tolerated some BS from your friends in order to keep the friendship stable. But now that you’re older with less free time (more on this later), you’re less likely to put up with BS. You’ve already have experience and know how to handle these things. And you’re mature enough to know when it’s okay and not okay for your boundaries to be crossed
On the other hand, that maturity also allows you to be more tolerant and understanding. At least for me, in my 20s I used to take a lot of things personally with my friends. But as I got older, I learned that not everything is personal, and people have their reasons for doing things, including your friends. Because of that, trivial stuff doesn’t really bother you as much, and if a friend is acting up, you can come from a side of kindness and appreciation.
I think that’s one major difference with friendships when you age; you become solidified with your boundaries while also being more accepting. They both don’t have to be mutually exclusive!
People can change and so can you.
Life never stays the same and that is definitely applicable to friendships as well. I talk a lot on my blog about how people change (click here to read how friendships can change) and this can have implications on your friendships.
As you and your friends get older, your values and interests can and probably will change. For example, maybe in your 20s, you were into partying and drinking. But in your 30s, you’re not into that meanwhile your current group of friends still enjoy lots of booze. That can be a point of conflict; your friends may want you to drink with them, but you don’t want to.
However, having a good friendship will balance these issues out though. Even if your friends are not into the same things you were into back then, you can still be friends. You can accept the changes and still enjoy hanging out with them. For example, I still enjoy playing video games but some of my long-lasting friends are not into video games anymore. That’s okay though, I still enjoy spending time with them, even if we’re not into the same hobbies anymore.
So my point is, you should be okay accepting that your friends can change as you get older, and your friends should be okay with the way you change as well.
Time is valuable.
Last but not least, time is such an important asset when you get older. It’s not like in your teenage or college years where you had all the time in the world to hangout with friends. In your 30s and beyond, you’ll probably have a lot more responsibilities such as having a full-time job or possibly starting a family. This will limit the time you can spend with friends.
And it’s multifaceted. One aspect is that you cannot allow your friends to waste your time. If you or your friends make advance plans, try to show up for them as their time is limited. I know when I work a full-time job, I really only have 1 or 2 days to possibly hangout with friends when I’m not working. So I want to make sure that my friends show up, because my time is valuable.
The other aspect is that you should also cherish the time you spend with friends as you get older. This is not only because you have less time to spend with them as you get older, meaning the time spend is more valuable. But also because you guys have known each other for so long, you are able to share your life journey together and relate a lot better than someone you just met. It’s why long-lasting friends can be so wonderful; a lot of the trials and tribulations in your daily life can be related with the friends you grew up with! So cherish those moments you get to see your friends as you get older.
Conclusion
I hope you found this post about friendship and aging useful and informative. Those hangouts with friends you had when you were younger won’t be the same today. But you can make your current friendships just as memorable. 🙂
If you have any questions or feedback, leave them in the comments below!
