Don’t Interrupt Your Friends! – 3 Big Mistakes You’re Making
Don’t interrupt your friends!
I somehow got this post idea from a dream I was having, and from a recent experience I had with my friends and coworkers. So I felt compelled to write this post because it’s pretty damn important.
As I talked about in my article regarding listening skills (click here to read on how to be a good listener), interrupting someone while they’re talking is a big no-no! There are so many ways you can interrupt your friends that you may or may not be aware of. And that’s what we are going to talk about today!
In this post, I’ll go over why you shouldn’t interrupt your friends and 3 mistakes you may be potentially making. Some of these may be familiar to you, while some may not be so obvious. Overall, being able to let your friends talk and express themselves to you is very important in a friendship. Make sure you don’t interrupt them!
Alright, let’s get into it. What are the different ways that you can potentially interrupt your friends?
Not letting them finish talking.
The first and probably most obvious way to interrupt your friends is by simply interrupting them. I’ve always struggled with this, and somewhat still do today. Interrupting someone while they’re talking can make them feel frustrated. Not only will you not let them finish what they have to say, but they feel like they are being silenced and being paid attention to.
For those who aren’t used to talking much, this probably won’t be an issue to you. But for me, I have the opposite problem where I have so much stuff I want to say and reply back to what they had to say. But I sometimes accidentally cut them off too early and not allow them to finish talking. I used to have a problem with this and I usually noticed I did this when they had their arms crossed while talking.
So I made it a habit to wait 3-5 seconds after they stopped talking for me to start talking back, just in case they more things to say. And now what I do now, even after 3-5 seconds of silence, I’ll talk somewhat slowly to ensure that my friends are truly completely finished talking. Because I don’t want to interrupt what they’re saying. And if they do have more to say, I’ll immediately shut up and let them finish what they’re saying!
So it’s pretty simple; let your friend keep talking and don’t interrupt them. Easier said than done for a lot of people, including myself. But not interrupting your friend is important to being a good listener.
Going off-topic.
This is another way to interrupt your friends, but it’s really not that obvious. When your friend is trying to tell you a story or share something with you, it’s definitely important to not go off on a tangent and talk about something different. For example, if your friend was having a bad day at work and wanted to air out their frustrations to someone who would listen (i.e. you), you want to be the one to listen and hear what they have to say.
But if you change the subject and start talking about video games and didn’t let your friend vent it out, then your friend may get mad at you! I saw this happen the other day when me and my group of friends were debating about a specific topic. All of a sudden, my other friend went off on a tangent on a completely different topic. We were confused, and one of the friends called them out on it and told them to stop changing topics, because they felt like they were being interrupted.
So in short, if your friends want to share something, let them share it! Don’t change the subject.
Talking about yourself too much.
I had this happen recently where my friends were talking to each other. When one of my friends (friend #1) was trying to share something that recently happened to him, my other friend (friend #2) always kept bringing the conversation back to about him (friend #2). I could tell that friend #1 was getting really annoyed! Instead of him being able to share his story, it wasn’t about him anymore.
As friends, we have a tendency to try to relate to our friends by sharing our own stories that are similar to them. But if you’re not careful, instead of the conversation being about them, you can turn it into being about yourself, which is not what you want. For example, if your friend is talking about their bad breakup with their ex, and you start talking about your previous breakups, the friend may feel neglected because they wanted to talk about their situation, not hear about you.
I actually had this happen to me, where I tried to relate to a friend by sharing my own stories. But it only frustrated them because they had to listen to me go on and on with my rant! So instead of asking questions and getting them to share more about them, I made the conversation about me. So that’s why I recommend not talking about yourself when you’re listening to a friend. Only if they ask.
Conclusion
I hope you found this post helpful and now know the important thing: don’t interrupt your friends! Whether you have the tendency to enjoy talking about yourself too much or going off on tangent, you’ll need to dial that down when it comes to conversations with your friends.
On the flip side, this article definitely highlights the importance of being a good listener, because that is just as important. Being able to attentively listen to your friends and read the room is an important skill. It definitely takes time to learn and get experience knowing how to do this. But as you become more aware and attentive, you’ll get better at this. It’s what I had to do, and I found it has improved the quality of my friendships.
If you have any questions or feedback, leave them in the comments below.
